"It’s not worth it, and you can get out".
Just had a friend ask, and I guess after 6 months, I’m ready to announce to those who didn’t know, that yes I left my kids' dad. I’ve been single since June. It was toxic, it was draining, and to any woman out there who feels stuck like I did, (feeling) like you made your bed and now you have to lay in it, like you should be sacrificing yourself for “the kids, the family” whatever. It’s not worth it, and you can get out. Run and never look back.
You deserve peace, happiness, understanding, respect and love. One time name calling, one hand raised, one time being backed into a corner, is one more time than it should ever happen. I suffered almost another 6 years in silence because I was so embarrassed I let myself fall back into it. I’ve seen so many women announce they left their abusers this year, I’m proud of you, proud of us, and I’m not going to continue to pretend none of this happened to protect his image anymore. I’m not going to continue to feel ashamed and like it was somehow my fault. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever come out publicly and write this, but someone else needs it. I had no job, he kept our car, I left all my furniture, everything I busted my ass for 6 years to have, I left every single thing behind except my inventory, clothes, makeup and my babies. My place to live, my possessions, none of it was more important than my sanity, my peace.
A year ago I started my spiritual journey, I told myself I’d start choosing me and I did. I lost my dad in January and it sparked something in me I needed, that pain changed my life for the better. It’s been hard, it’s been lonely, I cut off every single toxic person who had access to me, no matter what the relation, if they made me feel bad about myself, they’re gone.
I want to give a huge thank you to my two best friends, my sisters, my life lines, they saved me. They didn’t tell me I didn’t deserve what I was going through and could do better like people usually do, they pumped my head up and made me believe and see how powerful and capable I am, that it was all me and I was all I needed. And to my brother, who seen I was trapped when I didn’t say a word, he just knew, and offered me a safe home with my own space when I was ready.
This year beat the fuck out of me, there’s so much more that happened, so much more I’ve been through, so much more I’ve lost, and December was honestly just as bad as January. I’ve sacrificed and sacrificed over and over, had my morals and beliefs pushed, tested and changed, been through things I never thought in a million years I’d have to go through while taking care of my three kids and running a start up business. But I’m leaving all that shit here in 2021. I’ve put it the work, I took the L’s, I ate every thing thrown at me, and as much as I’ve cried why me, I know at the end of the day, I’ve gone through every single thing I have to push and force me where I need to be so I can transform into who I’m meant to be.
If you read all this, I love you. Thanks for reading, it’s our turn to win.
I’ll also acknowledge there are men out there who are equally unhappy, self sacrificing and going through one or multiple forms of abuse and you deserve peace happiness and respect in a relationship too.
Submitted by: Chelle Marie